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I breastfed Blondie for 7.5 months and Bonny for 10.5 months. Did I enjoy it? Yes and no.

Yes: dinner is always ready, no need to worry about hygiene, I loved watching my girls enjoying it, I felt proud of my chubby and plump babies as the result of the food coming from me. Great boobs!

No: I sometimes often felt like a cow. It reduced my libido, great boobs but do not touch. It was painful (especially in Bonny’s case, see previous post), I think they would have slept through the night earlier without, there were milk leaks in my bed, on my clothes.

Anyway, in Bonny’s case, it has been a very long and painful journey since it’s been painful from Day 2 until the day I stop breastfeeding. I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did for the first 4 months of her life due the pain I was enduring. All my relatives had been very supportive up to the moment they told me to just stop – they realised how desperate I had become with not being able to breastfeed without experiencing unbearable pain. For some (still unknown)* reasons I just could not stop and something deep inside me was telling me that I should carry on; otherwise I would not be a good mother.

I had cracked nipples from Day 2. It did not heal. After 3 weeks, my breasts were infected and had to start a course of antibiotics (as did Bonny through my milk). Once I kicked (somewhat) the breast infection I got thrush (both Bonny and I were treated). I sought advice through breastfeeding drop-in centres, saw some lactation consultants, one pediatrician specialising in breastfeeding, Bonny saw 2 osteopaths to check if there was nothing wrong with her jaw muscles, she escaped the homeopath treatment (I do not know exactly how)* but not the 2 (minor) tongue-tied surgeries. Nothing really helped. I guess my body got used to the way she was sucking and to the pain. Oh I nearly forgot the mastitis….

While I am writing these lines I realise how silly I am was. But if you’re asking whether I would do it again the answer is without any doubt yes.

Me & The Girls

* I have read a wonderful post by Is There A Plan B? “Brainwashed by the breastapo” which I empathise a lot with.

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