I was talking to the mum of a young adult the other day (18-20 year old) and she was telling me how he does not want to work, he is lazy, can’t get to work on time (when he has a job) and is happy to live at home with mummy and daddy.
And of course she doesn’t know what to do.
She said she had always made his life so easy – the money was not there to spoil him but she always had him as her priority. She wished she had not done that. And that made me thinking. Do I make my children’s life too easy?
I don’t think my children are spoiled but are they?
They have everything they could wish for: they each have their own bedroom, filled with toys, they each have a scooter and a bicycle, they go to a good school, they go on holidays, the week-ends are planned around them, we take them to birthday parties, invite their friends over for playdates, take them swimming….and still I don’t think they are spoiled!?
OK, so maybe a little, but then I want them to enjoy their childhood.
At the same time, I think children should learn to be disappointed and to be flexible.
So maybe we can find a balance. We can still take them on nice holidays, and take them to birthday parties, or pay for swimming lessons but we have to say NO to football on a Sunday mornings at 9am, because mummy needs to sleep but agree to tennis on Saturday mornings at 11am or NO to a playdate after school because mummy has to go grocery shopping; there will be plenty of other opportunities for playdates.
And NO to the iPad he wants because his friend has one, NO to ice cream when we go to the park, NO to the magazine that has Thomas The Train stickers and NO to the roundabout everytime we walk past it.
And why don’t have I time to read a book at the week-end or to do any laundry? I’m too busy with the kids! Is that right?
Me & The Boys.